What’s inside: Get ready for some of the best (worst?) kids jokes that I’ve been collecting.
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Best Kids’ Jokes
Sometimes you need a silly laugh. This is a completely frivolous post with some of the best kids’ jokes that made me chuckle.
You may have noticed that I start the regular weekly (more or less) emails off with a joke like these. That’s where these came from. Each one was selected thematically to match the post of the week (more or less).
If you want to see the related posts, use the links in the jokes. I have to admit, some of them are quite the stretch, but that only makes them funnier to me!
So Here we go!
Jokes
What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?
Two Kilo Mockingbird!
Why was the Math Book always sad?
It was full of problems!
Why did the Clown donate to charity?
It was a nice jester!
What do you give someone who wants lots of diamonds?
A Deck of Cards!
To Be Generous to a Fault…
Throw a Quarter Into the San Andreas.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
He wanted people to think he was a chicken!
Today I ordered an egg and a chicken off of Amazon…
I’ll let y’all know which comes first!
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
“Grace.”
Wife to hubby: “You can pick some really bad anniversary gifts.”
Hubby: “You didn’t say over. Over.”
How do Trees access the Internet?
They Log On
What’s the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle!
What do you call a cold day in September?
Septem-brrrrrr!
What is the best Book to read in autumn?
Gourd of the Rings!
Why did the tulip go to the dry cleaners?
To get it’s Petals Pressed
Why isn’t homeschooling more popular in Texas?
It costs a lot of money to field your own football team!
More Jokes
Never a dill moment…
I beg your garden?
Turnip the volume…
Never a dill moment.
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a parking lot!
Why was the Memorial Day barbecue so lively?
Because the Grill Sergeant was in charge!
Did you read the novel about the guy who had a small garden?
It didn’t have much plot!
Do fish go on vacation?
No! They are always in school!
How do Poets enjoy Nature?
They go on a haiku!
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie!
What kind of flowers grow on your face?
Tulips!
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar…
It was Tense!
What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A Hug & a Quiche!
Why do tires cost so much?
Inflation, of course!
Why did the bell pepper lose the archery contest?
Because he forgot that he didn’t habanero!
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock!
What is Superturkey‘s real name?
Cluck Kent!
What do you call a dog magician?
A Labra-cadabra-dor!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens!
What is Winnie the Pooh‘s favorite bird?
Christopher Robin.
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?
Because the pee is silent. (Books are not dinosaurs)
Hope you found this fun!
Have a smiling day.
